Talk a philosophy

[yoohoo]

If you have no back up, you have no plan.

[yoohoo]

Man is never complete until he’s married, then he’s finished.

[yoohoo]

Character is much easier kept than recovered.

[yoohoo]

I'm postinging this because I think it's a good and unique perspective.
However it was not written by Jay Leno. Leno wrote only the last paragraph
and used it as an opening line for his show sometime in 2005.

Craig R Smith (Smith is a writer for WorldNet Daily) wrote all but the
last paragraph. Unfortunately the story got distributed with his name
deleted and Leno's substituted. I related to the point "what are we as a nation so unhappy about" and the perspectives Smith brings.
The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some
poll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true given the
source, right? The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy with the performance of the president. In essence 2/3s of the citizenry just ain't happy and want a change.
So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, ''What we are
so unhappy about?'' Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter? Could it be
that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job? Maybe it is the
ability to walk into a grocery store at any time and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year? Maybe it is the ability to drive from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through each state? Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter? I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital. Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames thus saving you, your family and your belongings. Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes, an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90 percent of teenagers own cell phones and computers. How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world? Maybe that is what has 67 percent of you folks unhappy. Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S. , yet has a great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have, and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here. I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The president who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is this the same president who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11? The president that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks? The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me? Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk show? Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad? Think about it......are you upset at the President because he actually caused you personal pain OR is it because the "Media" told you he was failing to kiss your sorry
ungrateful behind every day. Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go. They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ''general'' discharge, an ''other than honorable'' discharge or, worst casescenario, a ''dishonorable'' discharge after a few days in the brig. So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of Americans? Say what you want but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it leads and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells , and when criticized, try to defend their actions by "justifying" them in one way or another. Just ask why they tried to allow a murderer like O.J. Simpson to write a book about how he didn't kill his wife, but if he did he would have done it this way......Insane! Stop buying the negativism you are fed everyday by the media. Shut off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as a country. There is exponentially more good than bad. We are among the most blessed people on Earth and should thank God several times a day, or at least be thankful and appreciative."With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides,flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another,and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?" Jay Leno

[yoohoo]

I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: "No good in a bed, but fine up against a wall".
~Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
~Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and have the two placed as close together as possible.
~George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea ... visit people only once a year.
~Victor Borge

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir -- mighty scarce.
~Mark Twain

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.
~Les Dawson

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
~Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
~Groucho Marx

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
~Jimmy Durante

I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
~Zsa Zsa Gabor

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
~Alex Levine

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
~Mark Twain

Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
~Spike Milligan

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
~Henny Youngman

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was "shut up".
~Joe Namath

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
~Herbert Henry Asquith

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
~Bob Hope

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
~W.C. Fields

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
~George Burns

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
~Unknown

Don't worry about avoiding temptation -- As you grow older, it will avoid you.
~Unknown

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
~Unknown

Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.
~Unknown

The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good -- spit it out.
~Unknown

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
~Unknown

[yoohoo]

Constitutions
What's the difficulty about drafting a Constitution for Iraq? Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys,
it's worked for over 200 years, and heck, we're not using it anymore.
_______________

Morality
The reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse is that you cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery," and "Thou Shalt Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile working environment.
_________________________________

Zero Gravity
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this
problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside-down on almost any surface including glass and at below freezing to over 300 C degrees. The Russians used a pencil. Your taxes will be due again. Enjoy paying them.
_________________

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the
stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington. And they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal
aliens wandering around in our country. Maybe we should give each one a cow.

[yoohoo]

Character is much easier kept than recovered!

[1kennychesney]

^I agree with that one!!!

[yoohoo]

Zen type thoughts for the day

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,
for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much
leave me the heck alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a
leaking tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
neighbor's newspaper, that's the best time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

6. No one is listening until you fart.

7. Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of
car payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their
shoes.

11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is just not for you.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,
and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

17. Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from
bad judgment.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put
it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side,
and it holds the universe together.

21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

25. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our
butt...Then things get worse.

26. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative
on the same night.

27. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".

28. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too
seriously.

29. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to
make a big deal about your birthday.

30. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

THE MOST WASTED DAY OF ALL IS ONE IN WHICH WE HAVE NOT LAUGHED

[yoohoo]

Can you cry under water?



How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?



Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?



Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?



Why does a round pizza come in a square box?



What disease did cured ham actually have?



How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?



Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?



If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?



Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?



Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?



Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.



Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?





Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?



If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?



Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?



If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?



Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!



If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?



If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?



If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?



Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?



Why did you just try singing the two songs above?



Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?



Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

[yoohoo]

Obstacles are the things you see when you take your eyes off your goals!